Beach Trip Ahoy
by Jackie99
Summary: Sarah organizes a trip to the beach with a reluctant Jim and the Dopplers in tow. Will it be fun in the sun or a total crash? Find out!
1. Chapter 1

Hey, everyone! Wow, I'm SO sorry for not writing ANYthing for a looong time. I've had serious writer's block, my computer crashed, and then I had to study for final exams. Hopefully you'll like this story…this chapter is short, but it's really just an intro. Well, have a GREAT summer.

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun). Please review…if you REALLY hate this chapter, be nice about it anyway…lol.

Jim stood on the edge of the ship's bow, his back to the sea. In front of him were assembled sailors, all in perfect formation. Amelia all of a sudden appeared, dressed in a trim black admiral's uniform.

"Mr. Hawkins. Because you failed to eat my cake, I am hereby forced to shove you off of my ship."

Jim blinked at the strange statement, then involuntarily looked backwards to see the churning, gray water far beneath him. Amelia was striding towards him, her auburn hair looking darker than usual against the overcast sky.

"Admiral! What cake?" Jim choked out.

The officer's green eyes narrowed, and she placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Strawberries! Strawberries!" the sailors were yelling. Their voices sounded oddly metallic.

"Good-bye, Mr. Hawkins," hissed Amelia. She gave him a hard shove, and Jim fell, shrieking. The cold waves rushed up to meet him, and---

Jim sat up in bed, screaming at the top of his lungs. Water was streaming down his face.

"Good morning, sweetheart. You wouldn't get up, so I had to spray water on your face," Sarah said, smiling guiltily. In her hand was a watering can.

"Mom. Whatever happens, don't let Captain Doppler become an Admiral," Jim cried. The request was out before he could stop it.

Sarah smiled. "Well, that sounds better."

Jim blinked. "What?"

"Well, a few minutes ago you were shouting about cake."

The teen groaned. What a morning. "So you sprayed water in my face for what purpose?"

His mom looked excited. "We're going to the mall to get you a new swim suit!"

Jim deliberately took his time crossing the mall's parking lot. He wanted to register in his mom's head that he didn't want to spend hours at a time looking for a swim suit. Also, Sarah was wearing a neon pink shirt that was emblazoned (in black) with her inn's motto: _Be Happy and Gay!_ The teenager had argued for a long time that the word _gay _had changed since the past few decades. Sarah's stubborn streak had won out, and she maintained that the word still described enlightenment.

"Jim! Please hurry up!" Sarah called. Grumbling, her son jogged for a few strides then resumed his shuffling gait.

"I already _have_ a swim suit," the teen argued as they entered the mall.

"You've said that already," his mom replied, "but for this occasion, I want to get you a new one."

Jim perked up. "What occasion?"

Sarah smiled in a secretive manner. "I'll tell you later. First, let me get you those swimming trunks."

The teen was curious, and his mom _did_ plan good surprises. "Okay. Can I buy you a new shirt first?" The expression he received quickly silenced him.

"Hmm. No, that's too foreboding looking," Sarah said, dismissing Jim's pick with a wave of her hand. The teen glared at the stack of discards that was growing on the ground. Already, his mom had called a perfectly straight Hawaiian patterned swim suit "too suggestive." When Jim chose one that was black with cool flame patterns, Sarah gasped, saying, "I don't want people thinking my son is a pyromaniac!"

Now, Jim just sat on wooden stool and let his mom bring her choices to _him_.

"Aww! Bugs Bunny!" Sarah squealed, flashing it in front of her son's face.

"Ma, I'm not ten anymore."

"Ohh. This plaid one is very distinguished looking. I love Scottish-styled clothes!"

Jim wondered what Amelia's reaction would be to _that_, seeing how the captain was very English.

Seeing Jim refuse yet _another_ style, Sarah's face became more determined. "Wait here, Jim. I know you'll like these!"

As his mom walked over to another clothes rack, the teenager groaned for the millionth time that day. Since they had been in Macy's for two hours straight, Jim was getting desperate. _Okay. I'll say yes to whatever she comes up with_, he swore to himself.

Sarah reappeared, her hands behind her back. "Well, I know how you like black," she began.

"Yes…"

"So I thought these…Speedos…would be perfect!"

Jim gaped at the small black Speedo and screamed for the second time that day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

Lone Wolfdog--lol, I know! Jim in a Speedo! Well, I hope you like this one!

Commander Zucchini---Thanks! I'm glad that you liked it!

LadyAmelia2008---Yeah, it would be fun to see Jim in a Speedo:D (Funny, too!)

treasure planet-gurl---Yup, I'm back! Whoohoo! Thanks so much for the great review. I'm really glad that you found the first chapter funny…that's my goal!

Jim sat in stony silence as Sarah drove towards home. He was roughly mashing the shopping bag which contained his Speedo. All the while the teen gritted his teeth---the swim suit was making him that annoyed.

"Jim, sweetheart, what's wrong?" asked Sarah, lightly tapping the steering wheel with her fingers.

"What's wrong? You bought me a swim suit that could easily fit Barbie!" Jim snapped.

His mom stared at him. "I think you need to listen to some of my yoga music."

"Mom---"

Soft, fluttery music poured forth from the minivan's CD player. Gurgling water sounds suddenly erupted into a crescendo as the song commenced.

"Do you feel more relaxed?"

"I need to use the bathroom," was Jim's comment.

Sarah's brow furrowed. "Hmm. That wasn't the effect I wanted. Maybe if I played some Britney Spears---"

Jim's glazed eyes suddenly focused on the Doppler's mansion, which was a few blocks away.

"Could you drop me off at the Dopplers'?" he pleaded. The yoga CD, with its water recordings, was more than he could bear.

"Well, okay, Jim. It's just as well anyway. Could you give this to Delbert?" Sarah asked, handing her son a letter.

"Oh. Does this have to do with your surprise?"

"Yes. But don't read it---yet. Understood?"

Jim snatched the letter and practically galloped up the Doppler's driveway. Sarah's white minivan sped off, and the teen was left alone.

Delbert's Mercedes-Benz was in the driveway, so thankfully, the doctor was home. Jim was secretly glad that Amelia's car wasn't there. The teen rapped the front door. No answer.

"Hey, anyone home?" Jim called. Still no answer.

_Okay…I guess I could just run in, use their bathroom, and leave the letter_, the teenager thought. Hastily looking around, Jim opened the front door. The mansion inside was tidy, as usual. The wooden floors were gleaming with polish and small potted palm trees were to be seen tucked away in corners.

Jim knew where the bathroom was---when the Benbow Inn had been destroyed by a fire awhile back, he had to stay at the mansion for a duration. The downstairs bathroom was always interesting. The marble counters were always stocked with expensive soaps and lotions. Usually, Jim always paused to see what kind of new stuff the Dopplers had bought, but he didn't even bother to look this time--he just rushed in and rushed out.

When the teen emerged from the lavish bathroom, Delbert was just coming down the big staircase.

"Oh, hello, Jim!" the doctor called. He pushed up his glasses and peered at the teen with a puzzled look on his face.

Jim felt frazzled. He definitely _had not_ planned to be caught using their bathroom.

"Uh…can I borrow a swim suit from you?" he stammered.

"Why, certainly! I am loaded with sexy---oops, I mean---stylish attire for the swimming pool." The flustered canine gestured at Jim, wanting him to follow.

Jim walked up the staircase and followed Delbert down a wide hallway.

"Um, I must say I haven't gone swimming in awhile, so these may be _slightly_ out of style…" the doctor was saying, his voice slightly muffled. He was bent over looking through his clothes cabinet. Jim felt slightly awkward being in their bedroom, but that feeling vanished as the swim suits began to appear.

"Try these," Delbert said, handing over two wrinkled ones.

"Whoa---these are…cool," Jim managed. One was white with the repeating slogan, _Star Trek Convention, 1983_. The other was covered with the various planets in the solar system: Jupiter, Saturn, etc.

"Uh, I think I'll try this one," Jim said, holding up the planet one.

"Outstanding choice, my boy," Delbert replied.

"Oh---before I try the swimming trunks on, my mom wanted me to give this to you," the teen stated. The doctor took the letter and tore open the envelope. Not wanting to find out what the surprise was, Jim took the planet swimming suit and walked out of the room.

The teenager soon found a guest bedroom and closed the door. Delbert's swim suit was a tad big, but it was sure better than the black Speedo. Jim was about to throw out his new swim suit when he thought better of it. Perhaps, when trying on Delbert's swimming trunks, it would be wiser to slip on the Speedo underneath it---just in case the worst should happen.

A few minutes later, Jim waltzed out of the guest bedroom clad in the baggy swimsuit.

"Hey, Doc?"

"In my…err…bedroom!" called the doctor's upbeat voice.

Jim pushed the door open, and inside was Delbert, sitting in a yoga position.

"Uh…maybe I should come back…you haven't been talking to my mom lately, have you?" Jim asked. What was it with yoga and adults? Hopefully, this was a phase the doctor was going through.

Before he got married, Delbert had gone into many stages of interest. Once, he had become fiercely devoted to Sherlock Holmes. Sarah had instantly gone out and bought the kind canine a deerstalker's hat and pipe. Jim, on the other hand, had thought that the situation was hilarious. He took advantage of the situation and wrote down clues on pieces of paper for the doc to follow. Jim's masterpiece clue had said: "_A clue you will find down an inside privy." _Of course, when Delbert had donned on rubber gloves and began to grope around the downstairs toilet for the next clue, Sarah instantly grounded her son for two weeks. Jim still thought it had been hilarious. Still…yoga and Delbert didn't mix.

"I haven't carried on with…um, I mean, called upon your mother, Jim! My doctor recommended that I sit like this after I fell off a motorcycle."

Jim perked up. "Whoa! You _fell_ off a motorcycle? I never even knew you _had _one!"

Delbert flushed. "Um, actually, make 'fell off," _jumped _off. A friend of mine let me sit in back, you see. I panicked once it started, and I jumped off. Unfortunately, I ended up bruising my…ahem…rear end."

"Doc! You have to try things out every now and then," Jim said, rolling his eyes.

"Point well taken, Jim. Um, could you help me get up from this ridiculous position?"

Sighing, Jim grabbed Delbert's hands and tried to heft the doctor up. Delbert was more heavy than Jim had thought, and his efforts caused the planet swimming trunks to slip off. Jim was greatly relieved that he had decided to keep the Speedos on after all. Then, the well known, dreaded sound of Amelia's boots reached his ears and the teen's heart turned to ice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

treasure planet-gurl---Wow! Thanks SO much! I'm glad that you and your sister like my stories! Still, have you read Sir Arthurdude's stories? They're really funny, too. (Like "Tales from the Galley"). Again, thanks a lot for your nice review…I thank your sister, too:D

Lady Kayte---Thanks! I'm glad that you like my stories, too! Sorry that I was gone for a long time---I had major writer's block. Well, I hope you like this chapter

LadyAmelia2008---Yup, cliffies can be pretty suspenseful! lol. (I couldn't resist, though!) ;)

Lone Wolfdog---Hehehe, you're right! Amelia will be surprised! Read on! Thanks for your reviews!

Amelia thrust open the bedroom door, letting it hit the wall with a loud _clunk_. "What the devil!" she hissed.

Delbert was caught off guard and let go of Jim's hands. The teenager, who had been trying to pull the doctor up, soared in the air and landed on Delbert's chest.

"Uh…hi," Jim croaked.

"It's a pity. The public spends an atrocious amount of money to visit Michael Jackson when instead they could get a taste of Neverland Ranch right here," quipped the captain.

"Um, Amelia, Jim here was trying to help adjust my queer position….oops, I mean, get me _out_ of my position," stammered the doctor. He readjusted his glasses, which had been hanging on his right ear.

"Yes! It's a _complete_ misunderstanding, Captain!" spoke up Jim.

Amelia rolled her eyes and straightened her uniform jacket. She looked vaguely amused yet suspicious at the same time. Then, she refocused her gaze and rested it on the teenager.

"Ah, James. Having a jolly summer so far?"

Jim wanted to disappear. "As of now, no, ma'am."

Amelia cracked a thin smile. "Excellent. I'm relieved that my husband is playing hard to get."

Delbert and Jim exchanged bewildered glances.

"Well," announced the doctor, "now that my legs have untangled, I believe I'll get up from the floor."

Jim, seeing how Amelia had been playing along with them, decided to crack a joke of his own. "Jeez, Doc. Too bad we didn't shoot for the bed!"

The teen received a puzzled look from Delbert and a disgusted look from the captain.

"Mr. Hawkins. If you were a computer, I wouldn't bother debugging your system; the viruses would be too numerous," Amelia stated, clasping her hands behind her back. Delbert winked at his guest and shrugged. Jim glowered at the doctor.

_Thanks for the help, Doc_, Jim thought to himself. "Uh, I'll be leaving now…" he said out loud. The teenager shuffled past the captain and paused in the hallway.

"Bye, Jim!" called Delbert. "I'll inform my wife about the…uh, surprise!"

The teen decided not to run out of the house. It would make him look guilty. Instead, he speed walked down the corridor. Before he reached the staircase, he heard Amelia address Delbert.

"I don't suppose this "surprise" will arrive in nine months, will it?"

Jim giggled as he heard Delbert stammer out an answer. Then, he heard the captain laugh along with her husband. It was then that the teenager made a run for it…

"Sweetheart, you walked home by yourself? I could have picked you up," Sarah said, smiling.

"I needed the exercise," Jim answered, slamming the front door shut. As far as he was concerned, he never wanted to see the Dopplers again.

"Did Amelia come back from work?" his mother continued.

Jim winced. "Yeah. Delbert was going to tell her about your surprise."

Sarah peered closely at her son's face. "Great! They'll like my plan, but why the face?"

"Oh, Amelia compared me to Michael Jackson…"

Sarah beamed. "Aww, because of your sweet singing voice?"

Jim stared at his mom, wondering how she didn't know about the famous singer's other trait. Then, he let it go. "Uh, yeah, that's right. She likes my…voice."

His mom hugged him, flour covered apron and all. "That's great! I'm glad you have come to terms with Amelia. I suppose this would be a good time to reveal my surprise."

Sarah delved into her apron and produced a folded piece of paper and handed it to the teenager.

"What the---" Jim began, staring at the paper in his hands. On it was written:

http/yasinya. go on the internet and find out!" Sarah instructed. She didn't need to say it twice. Jim had already ran off towards his computer.

Jim entered the first URL. The produced result made Jim grimace, but he plugged in the next one.

"Okay. Mom has totally lost it," he muttered. He stared at the screen, trying to decipher what his mom had in mind.

Sarah walked into his room at that moment, a smile on her face. "Well, what do you think?"

"That you've had one too many, Mom. I don't get it!"

"It's a beach cottage, sweetheart! I've rented it for us!"

Jim gaped at her. "No way. Ma, this cottage is a junk heap. I'm sorry, but _look_ at it!"

Sarah crossed her arms. "Okay. I know it needs some TLC. I think it's charming, though."

"T-take a look at the bathroom. The bathtub is _pink_!" Jim stuttered. This couldn't be happening.

"Oh, but that's your bathroom. I thought you'd like it, honey. But admit it---isn't the kitchen charming?"

"Sure, if you're a midget," Jim grumbled.

A frown began to mar Sarah's face. "Well, I'm sorry. We're going. I've already told the Dopplers."

Blood drained from the teen's face. "What!"

I know this is a _tad_ short, but I'll try to add another chapter by Friday. I'll be going to the beach from this Saturday to the next (so I'll be away for a week!). That'll give me time to think up more adventures. Well, send me suggestions as always and I'll try to fit them in my story. I don't think I'll add in the Doppler kids this time…I can only handle so many characters! (I know, I know…shame on me! lol). Thanks to all who reviewed! I REALLY appreciate it!

P.S. REALLY want to know what Jim saw when he typed in the links? Go to my PROFILE and see 'em for yourself! (I tried to insert the links into the chapter, but they didn't work out...). Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

**treasure planet-gurl**--Thanks a lot! I love getting your reviews…hehe! Wow. I will definitely put in your idea…it's a perfect situation! Love it!

**Lady Kayte**---Can I shake _your_ hand? I owe you on for the great review, too! I'm so glad when you guys like my stories…lol. Hope you like this one!

Jim glumly realized that today was beach day. Spending three hours in the minivan with the Dopplers would _not_ be fun, especially now that Amelia had compared him to Michael Jackson. As the teen reached for his CD player, he wondered if the captain _really_ meant what she had said. He shrugged. Whatever. The trip up to the beach would be better if the Dopplers---and his mom---realized that he was listening to music and not able to talk.

The teenager gave his messy room one more look. He always forgot something of importance, but he was sure he had brought everything he needed. Especially bringing Pokemon cards. Jim chuckled, remembering last year's trip with the Dopplers to a resort. Delbert, wanting to bond with Jim, had armed himself with packs of Pokemon cards. Unfortunately, the teen knew almost nothing about the game, so the car trip up to the resort had been spent arguing over who had the best cards.

Jim grinned, remembering his triumphant retort of calling Delbert a Pikachu butt. The insults only grew stranger from there, especially to someone who barely knew that Pokemon existed. When the teen and Delbert began to utter Pokemon war cries, Sarah and Amelia were forced to hide the cards.

"This year, I'm going to be the winner," Jim muttered, tucking away a new pack of Pokemon cards.

"Jim! I've bought you something for the trip!" called Sarah from downstairs. Her voice snapped Jim out of his reveries.

The teen zipped up his suitcase and grabbed it, making a dash downstairs. His mom met him in the kitchen. She was wearing a plastic visor, which was emblazoned with her inn's name. Sarah also wore a pale yellow shirt which said: _OMMM! If you can make this sound, join the Silver Moon Yoga Club!_

"Mom, I hope you didn't get me a yoga club shirt," said Jim.

Sarah smiled. "Of course not, sweetheart." She handed him a folded black t-shirt instead.

Jim hoped it was a cool enough shirt, but alas, no. On the front of the shirt, in white letters, "Be Happy and Gay---the Benbow Inn" greeted him instead.

Seeing the frown beginning to cloud his features, Sarah folded her arms. "And you're wearing it!" she ordered.

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Later, as soon as the groceries had been loaded into the white minivan, the Hawkins were ready. Now, they had to drive over and pick up the Dopplers.

Sarah twisted around in the driver's seat and eyed Jim, who was sitting in the very back row of seats.

"Jim. I want you to be on your best behavior," she warned. "Don't think I haven't forgotten those…those dreadful Japanese cards with those possessed animals…"

"You mean the Pokemon? Oh, no prob!" Jim said as earnestly as possible. He crossed his fingers.

Sarah gave him one last look before reversing the van down the driveway.

Jim felt a grin begin to form across his face. This trip might be fun after all, despite the annoyance of having to wear the "Be Happy and Gay" shirt---not to mention the Speedos.

The Doppler's large house soon loomed ahead. Jim could see that the Dopplers had laid their suitcases out by the curb. Jim immediately knew which suitcase belonged to Amelia---a big U.S. Navy sticker was stuck onto hers. Delbert's bag had nothing on it. They way the luggage stood there, unguarded, made Jim think of a plan.

"Jim? I'm going to fetch the Dopplers and help them load their things," Sarah announced. Parking the van, she gave her son another warning look before striding towards the Doppler's front door.

Quickly, the teen turned around and unzipped his own suitcase. There _had_ to be something he could add to Delbert's luggage. After all, the doctor _was_ due for a practical joke. Unfortunately, nothing suitable was in his bag. Jim was about to give up when he spotted a hairy coconut Bikini top poking out of Sarah's beach bag. She had bought the thing just to be funny, but Jim thought it would be perfect to add it to Delbert's clothes. After all, even the sight of lingerie produced blushing and stammering from the poor doc.

Chuckling, Jim snatched the Bikini top and quickly jammed it into Delbert's brown suitcase. Perfect---no one had spotted him. The teen made it back to the van just in time---his mom, Amelia, and Delbert were starting to make their way down the walk. Jim quickly started up his CD player and made sure he looked totally nonchalant.

Amelia and Sarah were talking amiably together while Delbert secured an umbrella to the van's luggage rack.

Jim leaned back, sighing. Again, as long as no one bothered him, the drive would be pretty decent.

Then, his heart froze. Delbert was holding the Navy suitcase! There had to be some mistake---maybe he was holding it for his wife. That was definitely possible.

"Hello, Jim! Like my fashionable Navy sticker?" Delbert called, sliding the van's door open.

Jim couldn't speak. _He had put the bikini top in Amelia's suitcase!_

Well, I'm back! Maybe this story isn't as off-the-wall as others, but hopefully you guys liked this one. Don't worry, it'll only get funnier as the story progresses! In future, I'll try to update once a week. Well, have a good summer!


	5. Chapter 5

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

**Oasis-surfer**: Hey, a new reviewer! Welcome aboard…lol. Thanks a lot for the great comments. Where do I get my inspiration you ask? Well, I just sit on the computer and start to type. Random thoughts develop as I write. To be honest, I scrap a LOT of what I write, as some of it is just too weird! Sometimes, too, the events which happen in these stories are based on family events! (Also, reviewers submit their funny ideas to me as well--feel free to do the same! Thanks for your reviews!

**Lady-Kayte: **Yay! Unlimited cookies! I'm there! I bow at your praise..hehe. Honestly, though, I owe you a trip to Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. :)

**Tp-gurl**: Pokemon! Yeah, my parents thought they were weird, too! I used to collect them with my brother. (The holographic cards were exciting!). Oh, yeah, I LOVE your idea! Jim will lose the swimsuit and keep the speedo! I'll definitely put that in! (And I'll make sure that you get full credit!)

**LadyAmelia2008**: LOL! Awesome suggestion! I'll put that in, too! (I'll also give to credit for your suggestion!) Well, hope you enjoy this chapter!

Jim woke up with a start and glanced around. He had fallen asleep with his head pressed against the window, so half of his face was slightly red.

Then, he remembered his uncomfortable situation with the bikini top. Jim peered around the minivan. Maybe, if no one realized that he was awake yet, he could open up Amelia's suitcase and pull out the coconut top. Sitting in front of him in an aisle seat was Delbert, who was sound asleep. A fat book entitled _The Joys of Calculus_ was laying on his lap. Up ahead, Amelia was sitting in the passenger seat writing sailor progress reports. Jim wondered if the captain ever took a break.

Sarah was driving, of course, but she was talking enthusiastically to Amelia about types of washing detergent.

_Perfect_, Jim told himself. _Now, all you have to do is reach back and find Amelia's suitcase._ The action of finding the suitcase itself was hard enough. Even though Jim was right next to the trunk, it was difficult sifting through the bags with one arm while sitting normally on the bench.

Jim's right hand rapidly ran over grocery bags, a beach ball, and rolled up beach towels---but no suitcases. Once, the teen felt like he had reached the corner of a bag, but he only succeeded in prying off the lid of some container. All the while, Jim remained in his seat. He was afraid that if he turned around and actively searched the trunk, the adults would see him move and wonder what the heck he was doing.

"See, I think _Tide_ is much better than any other detergent. If I use anything else, Jim will get this awful rash…" Sarah prattled on. Amelia muttered something in response, but it was obvious that the captain's attention was on her paperwork. Meanwhile, Delbert continued to snore.

Jim decided to turn around anyway. He took off his seatbelt and quickly peered over the van's large trunk. His heart skipped a beat when he finally spotted Amelia's large brown suitcase. The teen reached for it and…WHAM! The minivan sped over a pothole.

The teenager flipped over and landed head-first into the trunk. Jim yelped as his head landed in something gooey---and sweet.

Sarah gasped as she looked at her rearview mirror and saw her son's feet sticking into the air. Amelia raised an eyebrow at the unfolding accident, then returned to her reports. Delbert snorted, then quickly sat up in his seat.

"Upon my word," he cried excitedly, "a meteor has collided with the earth! Where is it?"

"Behind you," replied Amelia dryly, without turning.

"Ohhh…" Jim groaned, sitting up. His head had landed in a container filled with caramel. He quickly realized that when he had been feeling around for the bag, he had opened up the can.

Delbert screamed and clutched at his book. "An alien from the comet!"

"Jim! That caramel was for our apples," Sarah exclaimed, ignoring the sleepy doctor's statement.

The teen glared at his mom's back as the caramel oozed down his back and face. He had flipped over in the minivan and she was just worried about the future of her dessert.

"Well…uh…I was hungry," he replied lamely. If he told them the _real _reason, his mom would probably sign him up for weeks of yoga camp, if not therapy.

"I have food up here," Sarah said, waving a bag of rice chips with her free hand.

Jim's mind sped. "I wanted something sweet, so I thought one of the bags might have candy in it!"

Amelia turned to look at the teen. "Grope through my suitcase all you want; you won't find any treats in there, Mr. Willy Wonka."

_Wanna bet_? Jim thought. Instead, he chimed in, "Really, ma'am?"

This was practically being handed to him on a silver platter. That hope faded when the young captain gave him a cold, defiant glare.

"James Pleiades Hawkins!" Sarah cried. This time, she took her eyes off the road and eyed her son. "Get back to your seat and don't pretend to act like that perverted candy fairy!"

"Um, Sarah, I hate to interrupt, but…we're heading straight for a cornfield," Delbert announced. Indeed, the minivan had swerved off the road and was heading towards some farmer's crop.

Jim hastily climbed over and buckled himself in.

Sarah quickly jammed on the brakes and managed to stop the van in time to avoid a collision. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now, Jim. I'm going to play some music. We're not far from our cottage, so don't say a word until we get there."

Jim nodded and rubbed his head. By now, the caramel had hardened into a firm crust and was acting like gel. Already clumps of hair were standing upright.

While Delbert returned to his thick book, Sarah grabbed a cassette and jammed it in.

"What song is it?" Jim asked, forgetting his vow of silence.

"Bananaphone," Sarah answered.

Jim cursed under his breath, but Delbert perked up. "I love this song. Did you know," the doctor said, turning to Jim, "that the banana is a body part…oops, I mean a _bountiful_ fruit?"

The teen stared at Delbert. "Um, no, I didn't."

The minivan turned onto a graveled path. The terrain was beginning to flatten out and more and more sand was appearing.

The song started to sound warped, and the singer's cheery voice began to wobble.

Amelia's eyes narrowed. "The singer is atrocious," she said, mostly to herself.

"BaaaNAna phooone!" yelped the singer.

Jim covered his ears. "Ma, turn that off!"

"I can't," Sarah answered, her brow creasing. The cassette was now just repeating the word 'banana' over and over again.

"How interesting!" Delbert mused, as the cassette started to make a grinding, hissing noise. Amelia leaned forwards and punched the minivan's cassette slot. BAM! Yards and yards of tape hurtled out of the car.

The doctor readjusted his glasses and watched as Sarah and Amelia became covered with the cassette's innards.

Sarah managed to drive while totally entangled. When the minivan reached the cottage's driveway, she quickly stopped.

"We're here!" she sang out. Only Delbert seemed excited. Amelia looked like she was covered in brown seaweed, while Jim's head was covered in caramel. They stared at Sarah with confused expressions.

"Uh…whoopee," Jim muttered. What would the rest of the vacation be like?

---Poor Jim! Man, I pick on him a LOT! Will Delbert be next? Read on…I'll try to update faster!


	6. Chapter 6

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Note: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

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Jacks Ghost Girl---Thanks! I'm glad that you got the whole Banana Phone thing! (That song is so weird). Well, have a fun summer!

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Lady Kayte---Ouch! Eek, I hate dentists…I hope that this cheers you up even more! Hehehe.

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treasure planet-gurl---I put in your idea for this chapter! Thanks for your nice reviews! I think you'll like this chapter.

Jim quickly grabbed his suitcase and ran up the cottage steps two at a time, ignoring the fact that the small house looked incredibly worn down. Sarah had just managed to unlock the door when her son whipped past her.

"Well," beamed Sarah, "_someone_ is eager to start this vacation!"

The teen stampeded past the tiny kitchen and living room. Jim sighed with relief when he spotted the bathroom. He quickly rushed in and slammed the door shut.

"Okay…my hair definitely needs work," the teenager muttered to himself as he glanced into the bathroom's tiny, scratched mirror. The caramel shone like a glittery halo around his head.

Jim grimaced at his appearance and decided that taking a bath was the _only_ way to get his hair back to normal. He walked over to the bathtub, which was square-shaped and a hideous shade of pink.

"Here goes nothing," he muttered to himself. The teen twisted the knob and let the water flow.

Meanwhile, Sarah, Delbert, and Amelia had brought in the remaining luggage.

"Ohhh…..how creep---I mean, how _charm_ing those…birds are," Delbert commented as he walked into the cottage's living room. The cottage's owner had placed stuffed birds and owls on the fireplace mantel, on top of a bookshelf, and on an overstuffed armchair.

"Except for the stuffed birds, I find this cottage charming!" Sarah exclaimed enthusiastically. She joined Delbert, who was sitting on a moth-eaten beige sofa.

Amelia walked stridently into the room and gazed at the collection of birds. "One hates to be judgmental, but I do believe that the owner of this cottage is rather unhinged."

Delbert straightened out his glasses. "What's the matter with a bird collector, Amelia? You never criticized my rock collection."

The captain raised a slim eyebrow. "Then I suggest that you examine the owner's denture collection in the pantry."

Sarah looked appalled, but the doctor jammed his glasses up his nose.

"Mmm. How interesting!" Delbert mused. Amelia and Sarah exchanged glances.

Jim stared up at the bathroom's stained ceiling while listening to music on his iPod. Except for his head, the teen was fully immersed in bubbles. It had taken almost a whole bottle of shampoo to conquer the caramel, but he had done it. Jim closed his eyes in bliss.

A few minutes later, Delbert walked towards the bathroom door, towel in one hand and a bottle of herbal shampoo in the other. The door was open a crack, so Delbert walked in without a second's thought. After examining the vast collection of mildewed dentures in the pantry, the doctor felt that a bath was necessary. Sarah and his wife had decided to walk along the beach before dinner. Delbert assumed that Jim had joined the two.

"Oh. A vintage mirror!" gasped the doctor, laying his clean clothes, towel, and shampoo on the countertop.

Jim, who was still plugged into his iPod, saw and heard nothing---his eyes were still closed.

Delbert began to whistle as he slowly started to undress. All the while his back was to the teenager.

"I vill pump you up!" cried the doctor, who had his shirt off and was examining his rather scrawny biceps. He posed like Arnold Schwarzenegger in front of the mirror. Satisfied that he had successfully intimidated his reflection, Delbert peeled off his pants.

"Hmm…" muttered the doctor, glancing at his thin legs. Then, he looked up at the mirror again.

"Freeze!" he yelped, grabbing a hair dryer that Sarah had placed in the bathroom. He plugged it in and pretended to shoot down the imaginary enemy. The doctor stood there, posing like a karate fighter.

Jim grimaced. His music was sounding weird, like someone was yelling at the singer in the background. He slowly opened an eye, the florescent light slightly blinding him for a second.

Then, the teen took in the doctor, who was clad only in his underwear and posing like a fencer.

"What the---"

"EEEEKKK!" Delbert shrieked, twisting around. Jim took in the doctor and saw Delbert's underwear. It was pale blue with tiny Spongebob figures on it. A huge, grinning Patrick dominated the front of the underwear. The pink starfish was standing with his arms outstretched and a large thought bubble floated above its face. It read: "Welcome, Spongebob! Come on in!"

Only then did Jim scream at the top of his lungs. Delbert leaped back and dropped the hairdryer, which flew majestically in the air. As the machine collided with the bathwater, Jim felt a large shock charge the water. The shock then crawled up his back and escaped through his hair.

"My head!" yelped Jim, knowing that every strand of his hair was now jutting out at weird angles. He leaped out of the bathtub, his iPod dangling. The teen quickly grabbed a towel, wrapped it around himself, and sprinted out of the bathroom.

Delbert quickly unplugged the hairdryer and surveyed the room. "I wonder why Jim screamed like that?" he mused. Then, the doctor looked downwards. "Oh, um…right."

Jim ran into another room and slammed the door shut. _Why does stupid stuff always happen to me?_ thought the teen. He wanted to punch the whole cottage down. Then, he perked up. The teenager was in the Doppler's room!

"Yes!" he whispered, running over to Amelia's suitcase. Jim slowly unzipped it.

"Jim! What are you…ahem…doing?" asked Delbert, who had walked in. He looked slightly puzzled.

"Oh, crap!" hissed the teen. Jim tightened the towel around his body and dashed past the doctor.

Jim ran out of the cottage, the screen door creaking shut behind him. The sky was beginning to get overcast. The gray clouds contrasted well with the cottage's peeling yellow paint. Skimpy pine trees dotted the property and occasionally dropped scaly pinecones.

The teen uttered curses every time his bare feet crunched down on the sharp objects. Jim leaned against a side of the cottage. He was about to walk on when he heard a rustling sound from within the house. Turning, Jim looked through the window and saw Delbert. Obviously, the doctor had wondered why the teenager had tried to open his wife's suitcase.

"Great. Just great," muttered Jim. The doctor would soon find the coconut bikini top. _This can't get any worse,_ Jim told himself, _this can't get wor_----

"Oooo. Hairy, yet refined," Delbert was saying. Jim peered through the window and saw that the doctor had indeed found the top. Delbert hastily looked out his bedroom door. Then, he held the bikini top up to his chest.

Jim grinned. Although he would probably get grounded later, seeing Delbert try on the coconut top _was_ funny.

"Delbert. You should have told me you fancied women's lingerie. I would have bought you some at Victoria's Secret," Amelia said, half amused and half alarmed. She had just come back from the beach with Sarah.

"Umm…oh, it's you. I, uh…"

The captain dismissed her husband's stammering with a wave of her hand. "I suppose that it _is_ rather natural for men to----hold up. Those aren't mine."

Delbert, who had been blushing, dropped the bikini top. "They _aren't_!"

Amelia crossed her arms. "Delbert, those would easily fit a gorilla."

Jim exploded into giggles at Amelia's dry voice.

Instantly, the captain stiffened. "I was about to assume that _you_ had placed that hideous object in my suitcase, but I now have reason to think otherwise."

The teen, towel and all, bolted from the cottage.

----Long chapter! Okay, I had help with this part of the story. **treasure planet-gurl **came up with the cool idea that Delbert would come into the bathroom while Jim was in it. **LadyAmelia2008** invented the whole situation of the Dopplers and the bikini top---and Jim's reactions to the whole scenario. THANKS, GUYS! If anyone else has suggestions, feel free to post them along with your reviews! As long as they are appropriate, I will try to include them in this story. ----


	7. Chapter 7

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT own anything related to Treasure Planet!

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**LadyAmelia2008**---Thank YOU for the suggestion---feel free to add more ideas! Read on!

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**Jacks Ghost Girl**---LOL. I'm sooo glad that you like my story!

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**treasure planet-gurl**---Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Hehehe, actually, I think that in real life, Jim would have fried to a crisp if a hair dryer _really_ fell into a bathtub. It wouldn't have been pretty, that's for sure! LOL.

The next morning, Jim shuffled into the cottage's living room. Through sleep-filled eyes, the teen spotted Delbert and Sarah milling around in the tiny kitchen. Amelia was sitting nearby on the sofa, intently typing something on her laptop. Beside the captain were piles of paperwork. Jim shook his head; Amelia was the biggest workaholic her had _ever_ seen.

"Morning," he mumbled.

The captain looked up, her eyes glinting dangerously. "Good morning, James. I take it you failed to find the nudist colony last night."

Jim groaned inwardly. Yesterday, after he had eavesdropped on the Doppler's conversation, the teenager had sprinted to the other side of the cottage. Unfortunately, since Jim was only wrapped in a towel, the situation had quickly become worse. Amelia discovered that the teenager had put the giant coconut bikini in her suitcase. So, when Jim tried to sneak back into the cottage, he ended up bumping into the captain. Let it suffice to say that the towel had managed to slip below Jim's comfort zone---and that Amelia was already peeved at Jim's prank in the first place.

"Look. It was a mistake, ma'am," the teen said between gritted teeth.

Amelia looked up at him, a faint smile beginning to form on her sharp features. "I must admit that I was slightly amused with the …item in my suitcase. However, the flashing you gave me the other day makes one think otherwise."

Jim gazed at the captain, his mouth slightly open. "What the heck! Captain, if you think that---"

Amelia brushed his outburst aside with a flick of her wrist. "I will disregard your insubordinate tone for now, Mr. Hawkins. As for the incident yesterday, we will discuss that later."

The teenager knew that he was dismissed, but he was in no way off the hook. The captain always kept her word, punishments not withstanding.

Jim left the captain, who had returned to finishing up her reports.

"Morning, sweetie. Do you want some cereal?" asked Sarah kindly. Jim relaxed for the first time that morning.

"Sure, Mom."

"Great! I'll whip up some Grape Nuts right now!"

The teen stiffened. _Grape Nuts! _Didn't it ever occur to his mom that junk food was the norm for vacations?

Sarah plopped a large bowl of the healthy cereal in front of her son.

"Mom, don't we have any…uh…_good_ cereal around here?" Jim asked.

His mom frowned. "Jim. I realize that you dislike my choice of cereal, but there are more adults in this house than kids. Would you expect us to eat the things you like?"

Just then, Delbert appeared from the cellar with a box of Fruit Loops in his hands.

"Oh! Good morning, Jim," he greeted.

"Hi. Wanna trade, Doc?"

Delbert puffed out his small chest. "And insult Sam the Toucan by not eating this most _fruity_ product? I think not!"

Sarah put her hands on her hips. "Delbert!"

The doctor grinned sheepishly.

An hour later, the group filed out of the cottage, beach supplies in hand. Jim lagged behind, making sure that Delbert's bathing suit stayed up and covered his Speedo. Ahead, Delbert was walking with his hand around his wife's waist. Sarah was talking animatedly to the couple. Her large, straw beach hat swayed on her head as she gestured wildly with her hands.

_Great. She's probably describing my boxers_, Jim mused. He kicked at the sand with his red flip flops.

The beach was already crowded, but eventually Delbert found a spot suitable for their large umbrella.

Jim looked around the beach trying to see if there were any girls around. Unfortunately, all he could see were little kids. Still, it looked like he would be the only person in his group that would go into the water. His mom was wearing an old-fashioned red bathing suit---the kind with a skirt. She was the type who preferred getting a tan rather than getting wet. Delbert always got sunburned; already, the doctor (clad in a plaid swimming trunks) was lying down on the sand under the protective shade of the umbrella.

Amelia almost never went swimming, either. Ever since she had gotten injured on her ship a few years ago, unnecessary action didn't suit her. Today, the captain was wearing a navy blue one-piece. Dark sunglasses covered her piercing green eyes as she grimly on a beach chair.

"Well, I'm off!" Jim cried, giving one last tug on his borrowed swimsuit. The ocean beckoned to him.

"Let me grease you up first!" answered Sarah, sitting up and waving a large bottle of suntan lotion.

Jim blanched. "Ma! I don't need that stuff!" he protested.

Sarah slathered the white goo all over her hands. "Nonsense, sweetheart. I don't want you to get skin cancer---or whatever that thing is called." She began to massage the lotion onto Jim's chest.

"Mom! Knock it off!" Jim yelped. This was getting to be embarrassing, especially with Amelia right in front of him.

"Oh, alright. Have fun!" said Sarah, giving up. She rubbed his leg one last time before capping the bottle.

Jim walked off, his face burning. He bet Amelia had enjoyed seeing his discomfort. _I'll show her,_ he vowed. The teen marched off confidently, ignoring the fact that he looked ridiculous in Delbert's swim suit.

"I just don't understand it---Jim didn't wear that Speedo I bought him," Sarah commented as she watched her son plow into the crashing surf.

"Really," replied Amelia, dryly. She flipped open a notebook that she had brought out with her. She started scribbling out a complicated calculus equation.

"Oh. I recall seeing Jim wearing a Speedo," remarked Delbert, still lying prone on the sand.

"_Real_ly?" echoed Sarah. She laid down her book. "Tell me more."

Amelia rolled her eyes from behind her sunglasses.

Meanwhile, Jim was enjoying himself. True, the water was a tad cold, but the waves were exciting. He had managed to surf a few thrillers with his new boogie board. Even better, a pretty girl was beside him in the water. She was playing the ignoring game with him for now, but Jim hoped that he could befriend her.

The girl deftly swam out her surfboard, which impressed the teen. He didn't realize that the waves were big enough for surfing.

Jim looked back at the beach. Despite the crowd, he could see his mom talking to Delbert. Amelia, however, was looking up from her notebook.

"I'll show her that I'm not a whimp," he murmured to himself, not sure whether he wanted to show off in front of the girl or prove something to Amelia. He tugged at his boogie board and went farther out. At last, Jim spotted the perfect wave. It was still forming, but the teen knew that it would be a big one.

Jim knew that a boogie board wasn't a surf board, but he sure as heck wanted to look impressive. As the wave rushed eagerly towards him, the teenager squatted onto the board.

"Yes!" he shouted. The wave became bigger and lifted him up. Sucking in his breath, Jim stood up slightly. He grinned in triumph as his boogie board easily handled the large wave.

Just then, he felt the cord in Delbert's swimsuit give---just a tad.

"Crap!" hissed the teen, looking down. Before he totally lost his balance and fell off, Jim saw the bathing suit land around his feet. His black Speedo was now fully exposed to all who were watching.

The girl, with her surfboard wrinkled her nose. "Yuck!" she commented.

Back on the beach, Amelia narrowed her eyes at Jim, partly feeling sorry for the teen. Still, she _did_ see the accident unfold---much to the teen's dismay.

Sarah put a hand to her heart. "That's the Speedo I was telling you about!" she cried excitedly to Amelia.

----Poor Jim! Okay, I'll try to give Jimbo a break next chapter…I do tend to use him a LOT…hehe. I hope that you readers liked this one! **treasure planet-gurl** came up with the slipping swim suit idea! Thanks for the suggestion!


	8. Chapter 8

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

**A special thanks to my regular reviewers: Elvenwolf, Jacks Ghost Girl, treasureplanet gurl, LadyAmelia2008, **and **Lone Wolfdog.** I also want to thank the new reviewer, **Emutet**.

Jim dumped his boogie board on the sand. "Fine. I'm going to head back to the cottage---where I can wear some _decent_ clothes."

Sarah's face crumpled. "Sweetheart, that Speedo looks great…you look like a male version of Tinkerbelle, which I think is very attractive."

"Uh…like I said, I'll be heading back before this conversation gets any weirder!" the teen replied. He stepped over a rather pink Delbert, grabbed a towel, and stomped off. Jim almost bumped into Amelia, who seemed to be heading back from the cottage.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Hawkins. Heading back already?"

Jim grimaced. "Yeah. I really want to take off this stupid bathing suit."

Amelia started to grin, which sent warning signals to the teen. The captain rarely cracked a smile. If she did, it was either genuine---or mischievous. Jim quickly took the latter.

"Ah. Well, I will see you later, Peter Pan," the young officer stated. Clasping her hands behind her back, she walked back to their beach site.

Jim shuddered and continued walking back to the cottage. He leaned against the rusty screen door and walked in. Then, the teen stopped.

"No way!" he gasped. All of the stuffed birds, which had decorated the living room, now wore his clothes. A large barn owl was adorned with Jim's socks. A huge black raven proudly wore the teen's white undies---one on his behind, and the other tied onto his head. Basically, all of the teen's clothes had been artfully arranged on the moth-eaten birds.

"Okay, Captain. If that's the way you want it!" Jim huffed. He ran into his room, his mind revving up ways to get revenge. He quickly stopped thinking, though, when he discovered that the only clothes he had left were his Benbow Inn shirt and the Speedo he had on. That was when Jim Hawkins screamed.

Back at the beach, things were beginning to wind down---especially for a certain doctor. Delbert had woken up to discover that he had quite a sunburn. Unfortunately, he had kept his hand on his stomach the whole time he was sleeping. So, while Delbert's whole body was pink from his thighs and up, a brilliant white silhouette of his hand remained on his abdomen.

"Blast that raging inferno!" Delbert cried. He clenched his fist and waved it menacingly at the afternoon sun.

"I think you have subdued it, Doctor. Now, will a kiss make you fell…more adequate?" Amelia asked, leaning closer to her husband.

"Perhaps, Captain…if you kissed me on my silhouette…" answered Delbert. They laughed, and were about to kiss when Sarah interrupted.

"My, that sun is hot…I guess I'll head back," the other woman said, fanning herself with her romance novel.

"Uh…um, yes…rather steamy!" Delbert replied.

Amelia rolled her emerald-green eyes and sat up. "Indeed," she said flatly.

Humming an off key tune, Sarah grabbed her beach bag, waved to the couple, and walked off.

"Are we alone?" the kind doctor asked.

"Affirmative, Delbert." The captain whipped off her sunglasses.

"But what about Jim?"

Amelia smiled. "He has been taken care of…"

Jim paced around the cottage and uttered curses at the stuffed birds. Their glass eyes gleamed back at him, seeming to enjoy the turmoil below.

"Oh, sweetheart! You _finally_ created an abstract art masterpiece!" Sarah cried. The screen door squealed shut behind her.

"MOM. Do you honestly think that I did this?" Jim wondered if his mom had gotten too much sun.

Sarah beamed. "Who else would tie their own underwear into such masterful knots? The birds come alive with your garments on them!"

The teen looked up. "Ma, please don't say that again."

Jim's mother tucked her beach bag into a corner. "Well, if Picasso here won't take credit for his art, I suppose that you can take the clothes off---after I take pictures of this."

"What!"

"I embrace different works of art, honey. " She pulled an instant camera out of a kitchen cabinet.

"Mom…"

"There! That was a great shot," Sarah said enthusiastically, taking multiple pictures of the colorful birds.

Jim was starting to go blind from the camera's flash. "That's enough, Mom. Let's save the rest of the film, okay?"

Sarah shrugged. "Very well."

Jim was about to enter his room when he remembered that he needed clean clothes.

"Mom, can I borrow some of your clothes?"

His mother eyed the birds. "Of course, Dear. Preserving this masterpiece is a good idea."

Jim trotted into Sarah's bedroom and opened up the cupboards. He quickly grabbed a pair of khaki pants, then looked around for socks. Unfortunately, the only ones left were frilly purple and pink ones.

"Jeez…what a vacation," Jim muttered, grabbing the purple socks.

In the tiny kitchen, Sarah plugged in her portable radio and brought out some Cds.

"Oh…Fur Elise! That's romantic…" she muttered to herself. Sarah cranked up the volume and started to meditate.

A moment later, her son waltzed into the room, wearing the dreaded Benbow Inn shirt, khaki pants, and the socks which resembled a fancy wedding cake.

"How about we take some shots of the Dopplers, Mom? You've only been taking pictures of me and the birds."

"What? The birds and the _bees_?"

Jim lowered the volume on the radio. "The Dopplers!"

Sarah looked a tad irritated. "Yes, Jim, I know…Amelia and Delbert are doing that."

The teen rolled his eyes. "Doing what? Look, Mom, I'm going to take pictures of them, okay? What's so wrong with that?"

Sarah raised the volume again. "Just leave them alone for now!" she answered.

Jim walked off, totally confused. He grabbed the camera and went outside.

"Darn stupid vacation," he hissed, kicking at the sand. The teen didn't look up until he reached their umbrella.

In front of him, Delbert and Amelia were romantically entwined. Jim took two shots.

"Hello, Jim!" said the Doctor.

Amelia looked up, her eyes narrowed. "Why did you take those photos, James?"

Jim entertained the idea of saying, _Gee, you know, for a science project_. Then, his mind went blank.

"Well?" the Captain snapped.

"For Elise," Jim stammered.

Amelia looked ready to spit bullets.

-----Hope you guys like this! **Jacks Ghost Girl**, I love your idea…it'll fully appear in the next chapter. Right now, I'm building it up.

---I'm sorry for the LONG delay, but I was busy with school…RRR! Well, even though it's no longer summer, I'll still continue this fanfic!

---Finally, I will be adding more A/D. Keep up the awesome R&R!


	9. Chapter 9

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

**Disclaimer**: Nope, I don't own _anything_ TP related!

Lady Kayte---LOL, haha, I thought Emulet was someone else! Sorry! That was a cool pen name, though. Yes, there WILL be more AD to come (there's some in here, too). If you have any ideas about the couple, feel free to let me know!

LadyAmelia2008---Yay! Thanks for your really nice review! Let me buy you some cookies! Yes, there will be MORE A/D in the future…I've been neglecting them!

Go Jandalz---Cool, a new reviewer! Welcome! I'm glad that you like my story. Read on!

The next morning, Jim clumped his way into the kitchen, trying to ignore the fact that he was wearing his mom's silky pink robe.

Amelia looked a tad disgusted when she saw the teen enter the room. Jim was thankful that the officer had forgiven the camera incident. Still, he was annoyed that she had taken all of his clothes and hung them on the stuffed birds.

"Morning, my darling artist!" cooed Sarah, greeting her son by jamming an English muffin up her Jim's nose.

Jim swatted the food away. "Mom, I didn't actually decorate the---"

"Nonsense, Jim. Still, I appreciate your modesty," continued his mother, smiling. She flattened herself against the counter to make way for Delbert, who had just entered the tiny kitchen.

"Has anyone spotted my…bifocals?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Your _what_?" Jim asked. He jammed a Pop Tart into his mouth.

"_Glass_es, Mr. Hawkins. I take it from your rather dim-witted question," stated Amelia, "that you haven't taken any vocabulary lessons, let alone English classes."

Sarah rapped the table with a pink fly swatter. "Amelia…don't discourage this future Picasso!"

The orange juice in Amelia's glass shuddered as Jim's mother continued to smack the table for emphasis. The captain rolled her eyes.

Delbert suddenly grabbed his wife's watch. "Aha! My glasses!"

"Delbert…again, that is my watch," Amelia replied patiently.

The doctor squinted around the kitchen table. "Hmm. I can't imagine where I put them…"

Jim dunked the second Pop Tart into his cup of milk, enjoying Amelia's pained expression. "Maybe you…uh…left them in the sand yesterday."

Delbert shook his head. "Jim my boy, I _distinctly _recall putting them away last night."

Sarah fingered the fly swatter. "My, I still can't get over my son's abstract art…every time I see the display, I hear a symphony playing in my bosom!"

Jim choked on his milk.

Delbert innocently leaned forwards. "Really? Upon my word, that seems unknown to science! May I…ahem…investigate?"

Amelia put a restraining hand on her husband's arm. "I'm sure she is exaggerating, Delbert. Why don't you look for your glasses?"

The doctor looked indignant. "My dear, I don't need my bifocals in order to inspect Sarah's---"

Amelia's steely glare prevented her husband from continuing. Unfortunately, Sarah looked very complemented.

Delbert gulped and quickly got up, intent on finding his glasses. Meanwhile, Sarah started to clear the table.

"I plan to take Jim out to buy clothes today…he _simply_ refuses to wear the ones on display," Jim's mom said.

"I sympathize," Amelia said flatly. She teasingly raised an eyebrow at Jim.

The teen gritted his teeth. "I bet you do, _Ma'am_."

The captain leaned forwards menacingly. "Ah. Are you questioning my authority, Mr. Hawkins?"

Jim grabbed the silver Pop Tart foil and mashed it into a ball. The officer was too intimidating. "Uh…no…"

Amelia grinned wickedly. "Excellent."

Sarah was about to ask what had happened, but Delbert rushed into the small kitchen.

"I still have not found my glasses. However, I have decided to use my spare ones." The doctor hesitantly put on the pair, which looked more nerdy than his other ones.

Jim clapped. "Bravo, Doc."

Delbert grinned. "Thank you!"

The teen's sarcastic grin faded ever so slightly. "Uh, I was being---"

Amelia sighed and pushed back her chair. "This has been a lovely morning, but Delbert and I will go out for today."

Delbert cocked his head. "We will?"

Jim grinned. "Aww, you _don't_ want to see me get new clothes? I'm disappointed."

Amelia gritted her teeth. "Don't push it, Mr. Hawkins. I am not _de bonne humeur_ today."

The teenager hung his head. "Yes, ma'am."

Sarah grabbed the van's keys and tossed them at Delbert. "Feel free to use my car!"

"Oh, thanks, Sarah!" the doctor replied.

The couple quickly exited the cottage. Outside, the sky was slightly overcast. The pine trees which dotted the property swayed slightly in the breeze.

"May I ask why you are so eager to leave?" Delbert asked. He quickly strapped himself in as his wife aggressively jabbed the keys into the ignition.

"When Sarah starts to prattle about having an infestation of screeching violins in her chest, one feels the need to vacate the premises," Amelia stated.

Delbert blinked owlishly. "Alright."

The white minivan reversed down the driveway and crunched onto the main road. Asphalt hissed and sprayed at the windows.

"Let's stop by Safeway and restock the cottage," Amelia said.

"We've only been at the house for three days," Delbert pointed out.

The captain nodded curtly. "Noted. However, we have a shaggy baboon living with us---and it has a voracious appetite."

Delbert scratched his head. "Are you being quite _reasonable_, Amelia? Sarah doesn't seem to be _too _hairy and she certainly doesn't vast quantities of food."

"I was referring to Jim," Amelia replied, rather amused. She accelerated the van and passed a slow moving truck.

"Ah, yes…Jim. He can indeed be rather voracious."

The naval officer raised a slim eyebrow. "Assuming you are not referring to his eating habits, what do you mean?"

Delbert immediately remembered the bathroom incident and regretted his words. "Uh…nothing, dear! It was a mere slip of the tongue…Jim has never acted insatiable around _me_."

Amelia pursed her lips, knowing not to press on. Still, she wondered if anything strange had happened between the two. Peculiar incidents had already taken place at the cottage and beach.

"Anyway, maybe we should get something special for Sarah…something to divert her from thinking about her possessed bosom---ah, I mean, her possessive yoga-related frame of mind."

Amelia flicked the blinkers on and prepared to turn the van towards a shopping area.

"Perhaps, Delbert. Still, we should proceed with caution. Failure could result in a major misunderstanding."

Her husband heartily agreed and tried not to smile. His wife always lined up ideas like she was plotting a battle. This plan made sense, though. A simple gift could help calm the often harried inn owner. The doctor hoped that they found something suitable for Sarah!

---Boy, school has been busy…RRR! Luckily, I had no homework today, so I finished this chapter…it has been sitting unfinished for a LONG time in my computer. SO---I hope, as always, that you guys have enjoyed it. Please submit ideas to me when you review! Feel free to do so! Yes! Well, have a great weekend! I hope to update more often! Bye! ----

P.S. JacksGhostGirl's idea will be appearing before long…I'm building it up.

Never fear, more AD along the way…if you guys have any suggestions about what the couple should do, please let me know, too!


	10. Chapter 10

**Note**: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).

**Disclaimer**: Nope, I don't own _anything_ TP related!

Jim grabbed a coke from the ice box and plopped himself down on the sofa. Resting his feet on the coffee table, the teenager reflected on the past few days he spent at the beach. Sadly, today was their last full day at the musty old cottage. Right now, it looked like they would have to spend the rest of it inside; it was pouring outside.

"We're back from our outing!" called Delbert. The doctor's voice interrupted Jim's musings.

Hearing the Dopplers come in, Sarah quickly walked out of her room. A romantic western book was clutched in her right hand.

"Find anything interesting?" she asked.

Amelia swept back a wet strand of hair. "The only thing that dilapidated store sold was liquor."

Jim perked up. "Did you, like, buy any?"

Before the captain could reply, Delbert set down a box on the table.

"I know this will not…ahem…be able to compete with alcohol. However, I thought it wise to purchase a board game."

Jim groaned.

Sarah frowned at her son. "Sweetheart, Delbert always has a good taste for fun. Remember when we played "Name That Asteroid" ? That game was educational!"

Delbert beamed. "Why thank you, Sarah."

Jim straightened himself. "I would rather get drunk than play that game again."

Amelia rolled her eyes.

"Anyone up for a little Twister?" Delbert asked, whipping the box around.

"Doc, you have redeemed yourself," Jim announced.

Sarah put a hand over her heart. "It looks…dangerous."

Delbert studied the game's instructions. "Well, to slow it down, we could play classical music while we play."

Amelia grinned ever so slightly. "I do happen to have some classical music Cds in my suitcase."

"What? Playing _classical_ music while we play a game like Twister? That's so gay!" Jim cried.

The captain raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Hawkins. Music, as far as we know, is a nonsexual entity. Therefore, it cannot be---as you so eloquently described it---"gay."

The teen was beaten. "Jeez, if you put it that way. Fine."

Amelia confidently walked away to fetch her music.

Sarah shrugged. "Well, okay. Amelia and I can supervise."

Delbert readjusted his glasses. "Let's start!"

After pushing back the sofa and coffee table, Jim laid out the Twister mat. Off to the side, Sarah and Amelia sat on folding chairs.

"Here's the card," Jim said, handing the spinner to his mom.

Amelia bent over and started the CD player. Beethoven's _Fur Elise_ started to play.

"Start, Mom," Jim called.

"Oh, uh…place your right hand on a red circle," Sarah called.

Jim grinned and followed the instruction.

"Delbert, put your left foot on yellow."

The doctor did so.

Five minutes later, the situation was a tad more intense. _Flight of the Bumblebee_ was in full swing. Jim was on all fours; his arms and legs were stretched to the far sides of the mat.

"This hurts, but in a way…it is not too challenging," Jim griped. He had wanted to be in a more complicated knot. To make matters worse, Delbert was right behind him in a semi-crouch.

"Hmm…Delbert, put your right hand on red," called Sarah. Next to her, Amelia flicked through a newspaper.

"Ohh…this means that I will get to…um…hump---that is…lean over you," the doctor said. A faint shade of red crossed Delbert's face.

Jim gulped. "Uhh…Mom…"

Sarah crossed her arms. "Jim, all you have been doing is complaining about this game. Be a sport today."

Amelia put down the newspaper. "Perhaps Mr., Hawkins is correct. This does look a bit risqué."

Jim's mom looked indecisive. "But they look like little doggies. Besides, it _is_ just a game."

The young captain massaged the bridge of her nose.

"Yeah, Mom. I agree with the Captain." Jim got up. "This is getting to be kind of…uh…"

"Let it suffice to say that we could assign many adjectives to the position," Amelia muttered.

Delbert cocked his head. "Oh, my good heavens! Yes, this is indeed an awkward game!"

Jim quickly got up. "Mom, never tell my friends that we played this game."

Sarah shrugged. "I thought it was rather cute."

"MOM!"

Delbert started to fold the mat. "Don't worry, Jim. I won't tell a soul," he assured the teen.

Jim grabbed his coke. "Good."

"I won't say a word. However, if that photo you took of us at the beach gets circulated, I will take action," Amelia stated.

Sarah looked at her son. "What photo?"

Jim paused. "Well…"

Delbert polished his glasses. "It was quite a…steamy…oops, I mean…it was a _striking_ shot of the two of us."

Amelia grimaced and ran a finger across her throat. Delbert immediately stopped in his tracks.

"Well," Sarah started, "we can certainly settle this on the car ride home."

Amelia, Delbert, and Jim just stared at her.

"Whatever, Mom!" Jim laughed. Delbert and Amelia stared to grin as well.

Sarah threw her hands in the air. "What a vacation!"

Well, this is the LAST chapter for this story. Luckily, my school work has really showed down. My college applications and SATs are finished! Yay! SO…I can start a new story really soon. I have the basic plot ready to go. So, look for a new story before too long…maybe the first chapter will be uploaded before Christmas. Until then, have a great holiday and a merry Christmas!


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